It's like 3:40AM over on this side of the world, and I'm up because of jetlag, bored with nothing to really do because everyone is still asleep. The good thing is I'm up just in time to see sunrise. I really wish I had something exciting to say but the most I can squeeze out is that I slept through most of my nine-hour flight here, and woke up with a crazy woman staring at me. I think one of my favorite parts of Poland is the train system here. Well not the system, just the trains in general. They're so old and vandalized, and have little cabins, it's like the only thing in Poland that isn't advancing, and I hope it stays that way because they look so neat.

Obsessed with this video and song. Really good movie, by the way. 

My dumb ass woke up at 9am this morning after coming home at around 2 last night, dead tired, but I needed to finish packing because my mind was absolutely convinced I was leaving for Poland today at 4pm. Comes past noon, I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, shit, I even took a shower. I walk downstairs to find my mom on the couch, asking me "Where are you going?" Jokes on me, my plane actually leaves tomorrow at 9pm. My life is a lie. How did my brain convince me I was leaving today? Where did that thought even stem from?

Looking at my suitcases, I still can't accept the fact that I'll be leaving for like a month and a half. Basically I'll be seeing most of Poland, staying with people I've never even met, with hopes of my cousin taking care of me because sometimes I still feel like a baby. All I'm really looking forward to is sitting by a bonfire on my lake property with my cousins and friends, talking about irrelevant things, taking a night swim, catching frogs, meeting strangers, chasing chicken.

SUMMER GOALS:

• learn how to shoot guns well
• um getting a gun license first would make sense 
• go to a gay club
• have a really large tea collection like a huge one with every type of tea, ever
• go camping 
• go to pitchfork 
• meet a lot of people all over Europe so i have a place to stay at the next time i visit
• dye my shitty hair pink 
• roadtrip somewhere cool
• i swear i'm going to finish this 

My dreams are beginning to freak me out lately, I've had the strangest things happen to me during them with an even more bizarre mix of people who for some reason showed up when I was REMing. I had this inception-like dream a couple of weeks back when I woke up twice within one dream, I clearly remember waking and asking my cousin in my dream what had happened the night before and he said we went to party and I fell asleep? And I woke up again but this time in real life. It blew my mind, I had no idea this shit was actually possible.

Last night's dream was just too odd to even comprehend, maybe it was because I fell asleep pissed off, or slightly drunk, one of those. Regardless, people I barely knew from high school ended up saving my life in this dream and it really makes me question my subconscious because... I don't think about any of these people, ever. In fact I rarely think about people at all. Oops.

Why do beautiful shoes exist

     Spending the last day of my life before the Rapture blogging, teaching a piano lesson, and trying to communicate with the hispanic guy fixing our cable... so far it has been successful.

     Anyway, I have put together a sample of a few pictures of the hair outcome I'd like within the next couple of weeks. Really it's probably just going to be pastel pink but these colors look so pretty. Dipping your hair in bright cake frosting is now tempting, too.

     I have not even began packing for Europe and I leave in 8 days. It still hasn't completely sunk in that I'll be out of the country for a month and half, and a part of me can't wait to leave, yet the other wants to stay because of everything that has been going on lately. Like, bittersweet. This summer has been surreal so far, I don't know how else to put it. 

EDIT: Did I mention I am now in love with greek honey yogurt? Because I am. Also, I feel pretty fucking happy right now.